I was in a video game store and bought a game.
It was a Mario game and I played as Mario. When I started it, there was an evil sandwich triangle with an evil olive eye staring at me. Technically it wasn´t there, but nevermind.
The game started and Bowser obducted sexistly Peach and Mario misogonistly followed them and on his cap was the sandvich triangle again and it mentally raped me by looking at me with it´s eye, but I thought it was just a minor glitch.
I know that as of what happened today, my life will become an infernal hell in which every day will be a futile struggle to retain my own sanity. After finishing this wretched collage of electronic dejection, I will embrace death like a long lost lover with open arms.
Then the doorbell rang. I opened and it was a deliveryman. He brought me sandviches, even thought I didn´t order them. Technically I did, but it were still evil sandviches. That's when I realized that this wasn't a glitchy game, it was a hacked game.
I called the police at him for sexual harassment, then I resumed to play the game. It was normal, except that the mushrooms were replaced with Patriarchy triangles. Somehow, I felt the urge to kill women and drag them into dustbins. I reached Bowser and evil misogony Mario patriarchycally hit the button. Poor Bowser fell in the lava and Peach felt so objectified that she commit suicide by jumping into the lava.
Could this hack be the work of the Patriarchy?
I immeadility tried to sleep, but every time i was spleeping I got triggered by my nightmares causing me to immediately wake up. After a month, the sleep deprivation was so bad that I had to go to the hospital to be put in artificial hibernation. Somehow, I still dreamed, but I was sleeping too deep to wake up.
I was in a black room on a couch sitting next to EVIL PATRIXXX.
I said to him "Please, please kill me! Rescue me from this horror!"
He answered "No, I can´t. The universe, including you, is just a toy to The Patriarchy. They conquered God and the Devil, they became the laws of nature themself. Even I lost all my powers. They cursed you with immortality, they chose you to suffer even after the universe lapses. There is nothing I can do. There is nothing anyone can do. The Patriarchy immolated their existence in conventional sense to become all existence and even nothingness just an facette of them."
Meanwhile a year has passed and I woke up.
This game has caused me sorrow on such an ineffable level that there is no other option. Life will never be the same. Mom and dad, I love you. Michael and Kelsie, you guys be good. Listen to mom and dad. They have a lot of valuable lessons to teach you. Lessons that I learned but can now never apply again.
By the way, I´m making a video series which don´t cost me a single cent, so please donate to me.